If Only Words Could Describe..

If only words could describe the way I feel I wouldn't have such a hard time everyday Trying to subside the pain when I think of you Missing you for all that you were

You left me for someone who doesn't care A person that only feels for herself Yet when she hurts your heart The only thing you do is go back to her

I've always have been here caring for you Though you've never really seen We may be from two different worlds But we both shared something complicated

You know you had loved me but you turned away For someone who could higher your popularity status I may not be high in ranks but I feel for you Even though you never look at me the way you did

Maybe I shouldn't have lied and told you to take a chance Then you would have told her no But I deceived my heart to let you be happy And here you are all broken apart

Now we can't be friends because of who you are And I regret everything in the past But you let a friendship of years go for a girl I hope she loves you in the end the way I do

My heart told me no, but I had to move away Far from you and her and everyone Now we are thousands of miles apart and you don't care That I'm gone far away, and still missing you

One day you'll find out the way I really felt But right now I will just close my eyes and breathe Thinking of you just hurts me so bad And I can never go through it again

Even if I love you with my entire heart Yours is no longer the same I'd still give anything just to hold your hand But everything is forever changed

Who You Really Are

I'm glad i finally see who you really are I'm glad i see the real you Who you are inside sweet and nice such an act I believed you as you went behind my back Act like friends what a joke Use your hands watch me choke Watch your lies grow and grow What you're doing is so so low



------by: sammy------

YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE

You are who you are for a reason.
You're part of an intricate plan.
You're precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's special woman or man.


You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb,
You're just what he wanted to be.


The parents you had were the ones He chose,
And no matter how you feel,
They were costumed-designed with God's plan in mind,
And they bear the Master's seal.


No, that trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into His likeness you'd grow.


You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is God!


-----by: Russell Kelfer-----

The Common Defense Mechanisms

Most notably used by Freud in his psychoanalytic theory, a defense mechanism is a tactic developed by the ego to protect against anxiety. Defense mechanisms are thought to safeguard the mind against feelings and thoughts that are too difficult for the conscious mind to cope with. In some instances, defense mechanisms are thought to keep inappropriate or unwanted thoughts and impulses from entering the conscious mind.

For example, if you are faced with a particularly unpleasant task, your mind may choose to forget your responsibility in order to avoid the dreaded assignment.

Although we may knowingly use these mechanisms, in many cases these defenses occur unconsciously and work to distort reality.

While many defense mechanisms can be unhealthy, they can also be adaptive and allow us to cope and function normally. The greatest problems arise when defense mechanisms are overused in order to avoid dealing with problems.
Compensation – Overachieving in one area to compensate for failures in another. An example might be someone who has a chronic illness and is not physically able to compete with other students at school instead becomes the “best” student in the class. Another example: if you think you are an dumb you may work at becoming more physically fit than others to make up for this shortcoming.

Denial - is the refusal to accept reality to a painful event. Denial may be a subconscious or conscious process of blinding yourself to negative self-concepts that you believe exist, but that you do not want to deal with. It is "closing your eyes" to the negative self-concepts about people, places, or things that you find too severe to deal with. For example, a family may pretend and act as if the father is only sick when it is obvious that he is an alcoholic.
Displacement - is the redirecting emotions to a safer, substitute target. Example: Being angry at your teacher then taking out your feelings on a younger sibling when you get home. –or- Your parent makes you angry so you go in your room and throw something or punch the wall.

Fantasy - involves creating an inner world when the real world becomes too painful, difficult, or stressful. Example: A nursing student feels unsure and inadequate in the hospital arena. She fantasies about someone having a cardiac arrest in the lobby and she will come to their aid and save their life with CPR.
Intellectualization - involves removing the emotion from emotional experiences, and discussing painful events in detached, uncaring ways. Someone who intellectualizes becomes very distant from their feelings. An example: An individual who when told they had a life threatening disease focuses exclusively on the statistical percentages of recovery and is unable to cope with their fear and sadness.

Projection - is the attribution to others of your own negative self-concepts. This occurs when people want to avoid facing negative self-concepts about their behaviors or intentions and do so by seeing them, instead, in other people. Example: An chronically angry individual accuses their friend of hostility. –or- a cheating boyfriend accuses his girlfriend of cheating

Rationalization - is creating false but credible justifications. Example: The officer position you may have wished for and didn't get becomes "a dumb job for nerds.

Reaction Formation - occurs when we have a reaction that is too painful or threatening to feel (such as intense hate for someone with power over us), we turn it into the opposite (intense liking for that person). That way, we aren't threatened by the feeling. For example, you may hate your parents, but you go out of your way to show care and concern for them. –or- A woman who is furious at her sister’s child and wishes her harm might become overly concerned and protective of the child's health; an individual who has feelings for the same sex verbally chastises homosexual relationships.

Regression - is the retreating to behavior appropriate for an earlier stage of development. Example: A child who is overwhelmed with fear or anger when a new sibling is born might become clinging and begin thumb sucking or bed wetting.

Repression - involves putting painful thoughts and memories out of our minds and forgetting them. Example: Might not acknowledge hurtful things that parent(s) say. Instead, ignore and repress these situations. Sometimes called “stuffing”.

Undoing - is the attempt to take back behavior or thoughts that are unacceptable. For example, a millionaire might give to charities for the poor to make up for profiting from the poor. Or, a parent may buy their child a lot of gifts to make up for not spending time with them. Another example of undoing would be excessively praising someone after having insulted them.
Other Defense Mechanisms

Since Freud first described the original defense mechanisms, other researchers have continued to describe other methods of reducing anxiety. Some of these defense mechanisms include:

• Acting out – The individual copes with stress by engaging in attention-seeking behavior to try and get notice that they crave. (school children trying to be class clown)
• Affiliation – Involves turning to other people for support. (co-dependent behavior when one feels he/she can’t cope by self)
• Passive-aggression – Indirectly expressing anger. (teen silently resents chores; puts dishes in washer, but does sloppy job and bangs plates around—easier for parent to take charge of chore)
• Avoidance – Refusing to deal with or encounter unpleasant objects or situations. (dislike certain people at school and doesn’t join a club they’re in order to avoid contact with them)
• Altruism – Satisfying internal needs through helping others.
• Humor – Pointing out the funny or ironic aspects of a situation.
While defense mechanisms are often thought of as negative reactions, some of these defenses can be helpful.

For example, utilizing humor to overcome a stressful, anxiety-provoking situation can actually be an adaptive defense mechanism